Dear Santa, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles and Anyone who wants to get me presents this year,
Over the past few weeks I have heard my mother on the phone telling you that I don’t need any presents this year. That is simply NOT TRUE. I greatly need things - ALL. THE. THINGS.
To start, I would like my own backpack. Like a real one like my Sissy has. It needs to have lots of pockets and zippers. These things bring me great joy. Also, please make sure it’s filled with plenty of little tiny things. I’m not sure what these things are but I really like playing with them, banging them together, pulling them in and out of the pockets and dumping them on the floor. I love the game my mom and I play when I do this. She always puts these little things back into the backpack for me to retrieve again.
I’d also like several of my own garbage cans. I really like the one we have in the kitchen, it has this neat lid that pops open and shut. The little ones are good too, they are more my size.
To go with my garbage cans, I need about 187 boxes of tissues that I can pull out one by one to put in my garbage cans. I like those brown thick paper tubes that I find in the garbage cans too. A box of tubes would make me elated. I also like the box of wrapped tube-y things my mom has next to her toilet. This is another fun game my mom and I play every day. I pull all these tube-y things out and scatter them all over the bathroom. My mom is really good at putting them back in the box for me to be able to dump them out again tomorrow.
My next request might be a little difficult but I’m hearing great things about this Santa guy – so here goes. I’d like to not have to wear socks. Like ever. They are of great hindrance to me and I really don’t understand why they must be worn. Can you help a baby out? My mom and dad are always telling my big brother to put his shoes on and this is a source of major disagreement. I sure hope I never get told that… whatever shoes are good for I’m not sure yet.
Since we are on the subject of intangible requests, it would be super cool if all the doors in my house could disappear. This is a source of deep frustration for me because I am well aware of all the wonderful things that live behind these dreadful ‘closed doors’. I would really like to have full access to all parts of my parent’s house at all times. I promise I won’t get myself into trouble. (wink, wink)
527 boxes of Cheerios.
The next thing on my list is my very own refrigerator. I am simply mesmerized by the one my mom has but she’s not very good at sharing it. If I had my own one, then I could open and close the doors whenever I wanted. That would be glorious.
A few days ago, my mom took me to a friend’s house. YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHAT THEY HAD!! They had this tiny door built right on my level – it was just my size! AND!!! It went straight outside. It was the coolest house I have ever been too. Can you imagine how great that would be to have one of these tiny doors in my own house?! I promise I would be the best baby on the planet if I had my own door like this. Pinky.
Speaking of which, I really like when things from outside come INSIDE my house. You know, things like leaves and lizards. Those tiny jumping things are cool too… what does Elmo say they are?... froggies!! Some of my favorite days have been when I have found lizards and those jumping things inside our house. Santa, could you just make sure there’s a constant parade of these things in my house throughout the year?
I’m sure you know my Uncle and Aunt gave me a bag of remotes for my birthday. A WHOLE BAG ALL TO MYSELF. It was the best present I got hands down, but truly – can you ever have enough remotes? I’d gladly take some more. I wouldn’t mind having my own keyboard too. It’s one of my mom’s favorite toys and I just don’t get enough time to play with hers. If I had my own maybe I would leave hers alone. HAHAHA Just kidding about that one.
Ok, that about covers my list. Thank you for your help in this matter and if none of these things are achievable, I would be equally happy with lots and lots of cardboard boxes. The possibilities of all the things I can do with boxes is endless.
Until Next Year,
*originally written and published in 2018